Tuesday 31 March 2015

HOSPITAL BAG: Packing My Bag

At 36 weeks pregnant I finally got around to washing, organising and packing my hospital bag. I had originally planned to have it ready by around 32 weeks but was just too busy trying to get the house ready for our little arrival. It was such a weight off my mind once I had packed it, knowing that if I did go into labour I would be completely unprepared! We still need to practice putting the car seat in and out of the car. I've heard of a lot of new parents who hadn't and were then trying to work it out in the hospital carpark!
After reading 101 different hospital bag lists I settled on the items I thought I'd need/want with me. There are a couple of things I've since packed that aren't in these photos, such as headphones, bendy straws (for Tom to 'feed' me water), jug, going home outfit and my camera/charger. I also need to get some magazines and snacks for both Tom and I, but other than that we're pretty much done. 
Cath Kidston Fold Out Bag (similar here)
Travel Size Shampoo
Ibrophen
Paracetamol
Travel Size Batiste Dry Shampoo 
Travel Size Conditioner 
2x Primark Maternity Nightgowns 
2x Primark Thick Thermal Socks
4x Primark Knickers
Grey Primark Towel 
Mini Toothpaste
Mini Toothbrush
Primark Slip On Slippers
Plastic Bag for washing
Kleenex Tissues

Have I missed anything? Is there anything else you'd recommend packing?

Feel free to leave me a comment :) 

Helen x
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Monday 30 March 2015

PREGNANCY: 38 Week Update


This week was my second full week of maternity leave, which went a lot quicker than the first. I tried to keep my mind busy with various little projects around the house - washing more baby clothes, organising the 3-6 month clothes we have, sorting out our spare room etc. I had planned to meet up with some of the NCT Mum's on Thursday but thanks to various pregnancy niggles I decided it wasn't best to go.

I've actually had a couple of 'Oh my goodness I'm in labour' moments this week, probably definitely wishful thinking on my part. I'm just so ready for her arrival. On Wednesday night I woke up at 4.30am with period like pains and bad back ache, I felt different. After an hour and a half of trying to get comfortable I woke my husband up, who just mumbled something, turned over and went back to sleep! I finally managed to get back to sleep myself and when I woke up in the morning the tummy/back pains had subsided somewhat and I didn't have any feeling that labour was imminent. Has anyone else found that pregnancy tummy/back pains were worse during the night? Mine have been constantly worse during the night, resulting in disrupted sleep. Luckily I can nap during the day now, which I certainly have been doing! 

Once again my emotions have been all over the place this week - I'm not exactly the best company some of the time! It's the combination of not really having much to do each day, a lack of focus, and the feeling of uncomfortable impatience. I really want to meet our daughter. I really want her to not be in my ribs every evening. I really want to get labour over and done with. I really want to start the hard journey of breastfeeding. I really want to stare at our baby for hours on end, just because I can. All of these and more are making me snappier than usual, it's just so frustrating knowing I'm being snappy but not really being able to control it. I'll be glad when my hormones settle down and I feel a bit more like me again.

In my desperation to meet our daughter I've been trying various techniques to bring on labour. A lot of the methods are old wives tales and won't work unless your baby is ready to make an appearance, but it doesn't hurt to try! I had an Indian Head Massage and Facial this week, my husband had got me them for my birthday (some last minute pampering) and I'd also read that massage can bring on labour. Other than me worrying my waters would break during the treatments it didn't kick start anything. I've also eaten pineapple almost everyday this week, although yesterday I read that you would need to eat at least 7 for it to have any effect at all! I've got a box of Raspberry Leaf Tea but haven't tried it yet. My yoga ball has seen some serious bouncing this week, with an attempt to bring baby's head down further and I've done a couple of longer walks. But nothing, not yet anyway.

I had my 38 week midwife appointment, which went really well as she said what I'd wanted to hear - the baby is now engaged! Even though that doesn't really mean much, as a baby can be engaged from 36 weeks, its a step in the right direction. My bump is measuring bang on - 38cm at 38 weeks and my blood pressure was fine. The next appointment is when I'm 3 days overdue, so I'm really hoping I don't need to go to that because our baby has arrived!

What were the first signs you were in labour?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Sunday 29 March 2015

REVIEW: February Degustabox

Last month I first introduced you to the Degustabox - a fantastic subscription box service in which you recieve a box FULL of food and drink goodies every month. The January box was filled with healthy products, new year and all that. Now onto the February Degustabox* - a box much more to my personal taste. We're talking chocolate, nuts, lots of interesting flavours and new products to try out! Opening the Degustabox is always so exciting because you never know what's going to be inside, I'm a sucker for this kind of thing. 
Schwartz Flavour Shots x2 - £1.40 each
I'm all up for easy, quick ways of introducing a lot of flavour to meals, especially with having no real kitchen at the moment (we're in the middle of renovating). These Schwartz Flavour Shots came in Indian Mild Masala Curry and Spanish Paella - I can't wait to try these out!
Whole earth 3 nut spread - £3
A new twist on peanut butter, which I hadn't come across before. This spread contains cashews, peanuts and hazelnuts - a dreamy combination if you ask me. I've been really enjoying this on toast and on slices of apple. 
Jack Link's Beef Snack - £1.39
As a vegetarian I'm clearly not able to try this but I've heard it was very chewy! It doesn't have to be kept in the fridge, so it's perfect for packed lunches.
Original Melba Thins - £1.39
Hello current pregnancy obsession! These are packaged in 10 sets, so you don't have to eat the whole box of Melba thins in one go - ideal for keeping that crispness. I love love love these with margarine, pickle, cheese, chilli jam and jam - not all at the same time though. 
Beet It Sport Pro-Elite Bar x2 -£1.35 each
These are Beetroot and Oat flapjacks, ideal for energy when excersing for any length of time. The combination of oats and beetroot is an interesting one, it's something I wouldn't usually try but hav now had the opportunity to thanks to the Degustabox. 
Laimon Fresh Sparkling Lemon-Lime and Mint Drink -£1.99
I absolutely loved the sound of this when I saw it in the box, if sounded like a mojito but without the alcohol - therefore pregnancy friendly! It's so tasty and does taste similar to a mojito, I regretted not drinking it with lots of crushed ice. Now I'm on the hunt for more, so that I can do just that!
American Muffin Co. Ltd 6 Chocolate Brownie Bites - £2.50
Anything that makes my packed lunches more exciting is good with me and these brownies definitely did that. They are individually wrapped, making them ideal for on the go. They're also gluten and wheat free.
Lily O'Briens Cocoa Cookie Crunch -£2.50
This was my favourite product from this Degustabox box - they are incredible. Chocolately, crunchy and bite size all make for the most delicious treat. We made our way through this whole bag in an embarrassingly quick time
Peanut Hottie -£3
I have seen this peanut butter flavour hot drink floating around social media for a while and been so intrigued. Now I have the opportunity to try it and I'm a bit nervous if I'm honest. I haven't tried if yet but I've smelt it and it smells sweeeet! 

You can use the code -ZJXE0- for a £3 discount - so go check out the website!

Have you tried the a Peanut Hottie drink?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x


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Friday 27 March 2015

INTRODUCING: Little Chickie Baby and Toddler Clothing Boutique

Why does looking for baby clothes become such an obsession? Everyone I know loves shopping for baby clothes, they are just so tiny and cute! I've been loving browsing the Internet for unique baby clothes, especially as we know we're having a girl. I sometimes think if I didn't know the gender would we have bought quite so many clothes? The answer is probably yes but I can pretend that we wouldn't have. 
 
When it comes to cute baby clothes, a fun website and unique clothing designs Little Chickie has it all! Little Chickie is a family run, independent baby and toddler online clothing boutique, which brings a range of unique, fashionable brands to the market. The website is has such a cute design and is one of the easiest websites I've been on to navigate - something I definitely look for, as time is always limited. There's various sections on the website, including: boys, girls, unisex clothing, holiday shop, sale, gift ideas and brands. This makes browsing the beautiful clothing products very easy, which will be dangerous for your bank account but perfect for the lucky recipients wardrobe.
^I spotted this advert in the latest gurgle magazine!^
One brand that really stood out to me on the Little Chickie website was Pigeon Organics Baby Clothing. Their design of baby grows are like nothing I had seen before. They are designed to last between 0-6 months or 6-12 months old, a lot longer than most baby grows. They do this by having a really clever design on the feet part of the baby grow, you can flip over the material when the baby is younger (covering their little feet) and then unflip the material when they get older (exposing their feet). This results in the baby grow lasting a lot longer and gives you the flexibility of exposing the babies feet or not, depending on the temperate and size of the baby. How clever?!
 
 This design is the Baby Girl Romper - Pink Spotty*. You can clearly see here the foot design, as well as the pretty stripy pattern paired up with the spots.

Here are my top picks from Little Chickie...
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

There is currently 20% off when you spend £35 on the Little Chickie website, so now is the perfect time to pick up some of these beautiful items.

Which is your favourite item from the Little Chickie website?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Thursday 26 March 2015

PREGNANCY: Organic Vital Touch Natalia Pampering Products

 
 Pampering during pregnancy has been an essential for me, it hasn't been every day, sometimes not even every week but knowing that I have a range of high quality, organic products aimed at my every expanding pregnant body has been very reassuring. Taking half an hour to look after myself, not worry about general life worries and really focus on bonding with my baby has been invaluable - if you haven't tried it then I'd highly recommend you do. Obviously life doesn't always allow for daily pampering but if you can grab 30 minutes every week you'll feel amazing for it and it's something to look forward to, through all of the uncomfortable days. 

Now I'm on maternity leave I've been able to spend a bit more time concentrating on myself - both mentally and physically. Pregnancy has definitely taken its toll on my body now - it's tired, achy, has the odd stretch mark and my feet/hands are very swollen. I'm certainly not complaining, it's incredible that I have a little baby growing inside me. Therefore I feel a certain level of responsibility to look after myself and consequently my baby. One way I've been doing this is through using high quality, organic body products and taking that time out.
Vital Touch Natalia has the most fantastic range of organic pampering products aimed at throughout pregnancy, labour & birth, new parents, baby and maternity gifts. Over the past month or so I've been lucky enough to trial some of the Vital Touch Natalia Prenatal products and I've been seriously impressed. 

The Vital Touch Natalia Prenatal Bath Soak* has been the only bath soak I've been using and now that we have a bath at our house (after a long 3 months without one!) it's been even more special. I like the fact that they recommend how many capfuls of the bath soak to put in, too often I pour and pour away, then realise I've emptied half the bubble bath in! This creates a nice amount of bubbles and smells very soothing. Personally it isn't the most moisturising bath soak for my skin, but when I've been pairing it with the Vital Touch Natalia Massage Oil* and Anti-Stretch Butter* my skin has felt very hydrated.
 
Vital Touch Natalia Prenatal Massage Oil* is seriously luxurious and has been so nice to use all over my body, not just on my back. When I can persuade Tom to massage my back (does anyone suffer from an aching back almost constantly in pregnancy?) he's been using this product. I've been impressed at how long it lasts, it doesn't sink into the skin straight away which is a downfall of a lot of massage oils I've tried. You don't want to get through half a bottle in 5 minutes because your skin drinks it up! I've found that massage throughout pregnancy has been a lovely way for my husband to bond with our baby. I've even packed this product in my hospital bag, so that it can be used when I'm in labour.
Vital Touch Natalia Instant Revitaliser* is a 'pick me up' in a roller ball - exactly what has been needed in later pregnancy. It smells incredible - think sweet orange, geranium and frankincense - all blended together for a refreshing uplift. I've also packed this into my hospital bag, so that I can roll it on my pressure points during labour. Anything to keep me going!
 
Vital Touch Natalia Prenatal Anti-Stretch Butter* is packed with nourishing, hydrating and natural ingredients that have really made a difference to the feel of my skin. It's never been so well hydrated, especially impressive as it was getting dry where my skin has stretch so much on my bump. It contains shea butter, avocado oil and rosehip seed oil with essential oils of lavender, mandarin, neroli and frankincense. Sensory and skin heaven.   
 
 Last but certainly not least the Vital Touch Natalia Prenatal Leg Refresher* has been a holy grail item for the last couple of weeks. As I've mentioned in a number of weekly pregnancy updates, I've been getting really swollen feet and hands thanks to water retention. It's been getting quite uncomfortable, as the skin gets tighter and I can barely bend my fingers and toes! So I've been enjoying soothing this product all over my legs - it's refreshing, slightly tingly and it encourages you to take the time to massage your legs/feet. This has all been helping with making my swollen feet/hand situation more comfortable.

What have you been using to relieve pregnancy aches and pains?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Wednesday 25 March 2015

BEAUTY: LOreal Paris Infallible Matte Foundation


I wasn't going to write about one of the latest foundation released from L'Oreal, mainly because a lot of bloggers have done. But when my L'Oreal True Match foundation (£9.99 from Boots) had run out I decided to buy the L'Oreal Paris Infalliable Matte foundation (£6.99 from Boots) - radical I know. When I first tried this foundation I wasn't impressed to be honest, which I was surprised about because I'd read so many positive reviews on other blogs. 
For reference here's a quick update on my skin at the moment - it's a combination of dry and oily (thanks pregnancy hormones), my preference is a fuller coverage foundation and I tend to use the Eco Tools buffing brush to apply my foundation. 

Right, back to the foundation...It just didn't sit nicely on my skin, didn't have the coverage I was looking for and seemed to take forever to blend in. None of which are qualities I look for in a foundation. I also didn't like the tube it comes in, it made it hard to squeeze out exactly the correct amount of product - a pump is a lot easier. Due to the squeezy tube it felt like I was getting through the foundation extremely quickly and for around £7 I want it to last for longer than 3 weeks. Another negative of this foundation is the shade range, it's limited compared to some of the other L'Oreal foundation ranges. I have extremely pale skin naturally and struggle to find a foundation that doesn't make me look yellow or orange. The C1 Rose Ivory shade of L'Oreal True Match foundation was the perfect colour match, which seems to be a rarity on the high street. But I couldn't find a shade of foundation in the Infallible Matte range that matched quite so perfectly, I ended up with 10 Porcelan which is very slightly darker than I would usually go for.
Having said all this you may think I really dislike this foundation but for me it was one I learnt to love, rather than it be an instant love like I had with NARS Sheer Glow, L'Oreal True Match and Estee Lauder Double Wear. I actually really like this foundation now and have found that a number of the issues I had with it have disappeared, as my skin and myself get used to working with this product. I've learnt that I actually have to apply more of this product than I usually would to get the desired coverage. I would usually use 1 1/2 pumps of True Match foundation over my whole face but I've needed more like the equivalent of 2 1/2 pumps of the Infallible Matte foundation. This isn't much of a problem, except the product will obviously run out quicker. 

When it comes to blending the Infallible Matte foundation I've found that a combination of a lot of buffing with a buffing brush and finally blending slightly with my fingers creates a smoother, more flawless appearance. Again, a bit more work than was required with the True Match foundation, but completely workable. 

Overall I now like this foundation, it's not a new favourite, but it's nice for everyday wear. It's not cakey and you can build up a good amount of coverage, with a bit of work.

How did you get on with this foundation?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Tuesday 24 March 2015

PREGNANCY: A pillow that makes third trimester just THAT bit more comfortable

 
If there is one thing I've learnt during the third trimester of pregnancy, it's just how uncomfortable it can be at times. I'm certainly not moaning, my body is growing another human being, it's going to be uncomfortable but it doesn't mean I don't want to try and get comfortable! The worst time of the day has become going to bed, despite being so tired I was struggling to sleep with my bump and back pains. The pregnancy pillow I was using had lost it's shape during my second trimester and was no longer supporting my growing body. So when I was kindly send the Theraline Original Maternity and Nursing Pillow* (£44.95 from John Lewis) to try out I had every hope it would work miracles and allow me to get comfortable at night. I'm so pleased to say I wasn't let down, I've been using it at night for the past 3 weeks and have been so much more comfortable, allowing me to sleep all through the night. If you're currently pregnant or have been in the past, you'll know what a luxury that is!
The pillow is 190cm long, so it's longer than I am tall, which I'm sure helps with getting comfortable. The size of this pillow is both a positive and slight negative, it helps you to get comfortable but the size makes it hard to store anywhere. Just something worth baring in mind, I just keep it in my bed at the moment.
The Theraline Original Maternity and Nursing Pillow is filled with little beads, which help support you in whichever position you find comfortable and ensures it won't lose it's shape like my other pregnancy pillow has. The multifunctional aspect of this pillow makes it further appealing, as it can be used for supporting your baby during breastfeeding and for when they start sitting up.
 
You can get a wide range of covers for the pillow, definitely worth while if you plan to use it for breastfeeding and/or supporting your baby sitting up. I actually ordered the rose microplush pillow cover you can see in these photo's separately (£11.97 from amazon), just so I had a further layer that was easy to wash for when I want to start using it for breastfeeding.
If you're currently looking for a pregnancy/nursing pillow then I'd highly recommend checking out the Theraline Original Maternity and Nursing Pillow, which is available from John Lewis, NCT shop, amazon, Mothercare and Boots to name a few places.

How do/did you get comfortable during the third trimester?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Monday 23 March 2015

PREGNANCY: 37 Week Update


This week has been a nice mixture of fun, exciting events and time to sort everything out for our little ones arrival. I started my 37th week attending my baby shower, which my friend had so kindly organised. It was lovely to have everyone together, talk babies and eat the tastiest afternoon tea I've ever had! We were also lucky enough to receive a lovely selection of gifts for our daughter, including clothes, the softest bunny baby book, Mummy mug and plenty of goodies for me to enjoy on the run up to the birth. 

Maternity leave started properly this week, no Sunday night 'back to work' feeling or 6am wake up's (that my alarm initiates anyway - I'm still awake then!) It's meant I've been able to have a much needed nap around 3-4pm, as well as start to sort out her nursery and clothes. There have been days I've enjoyed pottering around the house, doing lots of washing, sorting and watching day time tv. Then there have been other days where my own company, lack of anybody to talk to and lack of focus have been a bit tougher. I'll hopefully get used to not being so busy (until our daughter arrives) and it generally being so quiet for most of the day. Did anyone else struggle with the adjustment between work and maternity leave?

Right at the beginning of this week the decorator finished the nursery, so after a couple of trips to various IKEA's, lots of online shopping and exciting deliveries we have now (pretty much) finished the nursery. We're so happy with how it looks, I can't stop just standing at the door looking at the cot wondering what it will feel like when our daughter is sleeping in there. 

On Wednesday we had our first Health Visitor appointment, which I understand is a new visit as they usually begin visiting 10 days after your baby is born. A very friendly lady arrived at our house and explained what her role is, all about the available support in the local area, contact information for breastfeeding experts and generally introducing herself prior to us having our baby. It was very reassuring to know quite how much support there is out there for breastfeeding, as it is something that can be very challenging to get it right.
 
 At the end of this week I went to my first NCT Bumps and Babies group at a local soft play centre. I met up with a couple of ladies from the NCT group we attended and got to meet one their babies!! She was only 18 days old and just SO cute, I couldn't stop staring at her so I can only imagine what it will be like when it's our own baby. It was lovely to chat to other new Mum's and take on all the advice and wisdom they had to share. It was also my first proper outing of the week, so I was grateful to talk to someone other than my husband.
 Other than a couple of pregnancy niggles this week has been a good week. I think being on maternity leave and taking things generally a lot slower has helped. A couple of days this week I've had a really bad pain in my right rib, like a pulled muscle. I think it's just the position of baby, as I can feel various body parts up in my ribs! It did make moving extremely hard, especially turning over in bed but then the next day the pain has completely gone. I've had two days of the pain over the past week, so not too bad.

My feet and hands are still pretty swollen, though not being on my feet all day has helped. All of my shoes are now getting quite tight, so fingers crossed they will hold on for the last couple of weeks!

I've certainly got stretch marks now, mainly in the middle of my bump and around my hips. When they first came out they were purple in colour, but after constantly applying stretch mark oil they are already starting to get paler. So I'm religiously applying stretch mark oil and cream and will continue to do so once our baby arrives. 

As I approach my due date and become impatient with excitement I keep being convinced I'm in labour! Any little twinge, ache, pain, feeling has been the start of labour to me, which it clearly hasn't actually been. I'm just so apprehensive about birth, yet so excited to meet our daughter I just want that day to come. The not knowing is really hard, it could be tomorrow or in 3 weeks time. I'm seriously hoping she arrives at the end of 39 weeks or early into 40 weeks, not much later than that. I'm far too impatient - not that I get a say unfortunately!

How's your week been?

Feel free to leave me a comment :)

Helen x
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Sunday 22 March 2015

BABY: First Impressions of the Shnuggle Basket

 
As the time comes closer to finally getting to meet our daughter we have been looking into the various sleeping options for newborn babies. There is so much choice on the market nowadays that it can be really overwhelming and hard to know what is best for you and your baby. We came across the Shnuggle Basket* (£75) through our searches of moses baskets. The Shnuggle Basket looks very similar to a moses basket but its not made from wicker, instead a 100% recyclable polymer with woven cotton handles. This has various benefits, the main one being you can move the basket around without making very much noise at all. Traditional moses baskets can be noisy to move, so often waking the baby up, Shnuggle have solved this issue all in a stylish design.

What Shnuggle have to say...

'The award-winning Shnuggle Modern Moses Basket captures everything you like about traditional Moses baskets along with some improvements you'll absolutely love.
Quietly brilliant
Made from a super-strong, hypoallergenic and easy to clean material it's so much safer for your baby. It's almost silent when baby moves around, helping your baby to stay fast asleep. A clever locking system means the hood actually stays up. All Shnuggle baskets come complete with a special hypoallergenic mattress.
With beautiful 100% pure cotton fabrics, it's a warm and cosy place for your baby to begin life in the outside world.
Big and strong

It isn't made from wicker or palm leaves like most Moses baskets, but rather a super strong moulded shell, which is fully ventilated, hygienic, hypoallergenic and far stronger.
It's about 10% larger than other baskets, so it can be used for longer. When the baby is ready to move into a cot, the Shnuggle basket can be safely stored and re-used next time!
Inspired by parents
The Shnuggle basket design was the result of talking with hundreds of parents to learn what they loved and didn't love about traditional Moses baskets.
The result was an evolution in design, a basket that is still lightweight, portable and cosy for baby - but with the extra benefits of being hypoallergenic, hygienic and easy to clean.
The Shnuggle basket is multi award-winning: it is a favourite with industry experts as well as parents. It truly is the best Moses basket.
Eco friendly design
By making the Shnuggle basket in the UK it doesn't travel around the world to get here - which reduces our carbon footprint. Also, the Shnuggle basket is free of chemical nasties such as BPA and Phthalate. In fact, it is manufactured with NO added chemicals, so you can be sure that your baby is in a healthy environment from day one.'
On first impressions these are what I love about the Shnuggle Basket:

1) Available in a range of pastel colours. The grey matches perfectly with our bedroom!
2) The fact that it is 10% bigger than a traditional moses basket means it lasts longer. Anything that lasts longer in the world of baby products is a winner with me.
3) The lack of noise when moving the Shnuggle Basket around.
4) That it's easy to clean, easy to wipe surfaces with a sickie newborn baby can only be a positive.
5) It can be stored safely ready for if we have another baby, another great way of saving money.
6) You can buy different mattresses, stands and bedding on their website, which is easy to use.
7) The Shnuggle Basket is easy to buy online from one of these stockist: JoJo Maman Bebe, amazon.co.uk, Shnuggle, Peppermint London, John Lewis, Rosebud Baby, Baby-Pages, NCT Shop, Argos and Highland Prams. This means you can look out for any good deals/discounts on the Shnuggle Basket! (If you click on the shop names it will take you to the Shnuggle Basket, so you can quickly see which has the best offer on currently).

8) You can buy a range of stands from the Shnuggle website, depending on what you would like - rocking, folding, white or wooden. The white rocking stand* (£30) is my personal favourite, as rocking is such a relaxing movement for babies and white matches our bedroom perfectly.
9) There are no added chemicals. The NCT course leader was telling us about the chemical fumes some nappies give off, something I had never thought about, so knowing that the Shnuggle Basket won't be giving off any fumes is really reassuring.
10) They also do starter packs - ideal for people with a busy life like me - where you get a Shnuggle Basket, stand and a two pack of sheets for only £99! You are essentially getting the two pack of sheets for free :)
11) The height of the Shnuggle basket is perfect for looking into the basket while in bed, as you can see from the pictures below:
I can't wait to let you know how the Shnuggle Basket performs with a newborn baby in it. I just can't believe that newborn baby will be mine!

Had you heard of the Shnuggle Basket before?

Feel free to leave me a comment below :)

Helen x


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